Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you win again, gameday.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
