I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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