So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Semen is not good for contacts.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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