dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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