Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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