I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
