it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
