plz talk dirty to me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
