just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
