Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
