Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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