I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize