That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
