She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
