oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
