i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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