What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
