it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
