I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
