we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
