Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
