Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
