Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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