Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize