oh god the rape fog is back!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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