Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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