who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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