im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
