Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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