Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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