I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
