Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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