There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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