you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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