I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
