How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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