Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
