I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
