Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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