Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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