That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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