Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
