i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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