Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
