No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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