Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
