Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
