Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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