My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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