I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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