im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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